Underhive Tales: A MidHive Lightsout Dream
by Michael Pumabi
Summary: The pre-Imperial work "A Mid-Summer Nights's Dream" by William Shakespeare, adapted by Necromundan playwright Phildeaux Quakespire for performance within Hive Primus, circa M38.
1. Chapter 1

HISTORIANS PROLOG

Thought to be set in M38, A Mid-Hive Lights-Out Dream takes place in the legendary lost domed city of Airdome. A seat of culture and learning, the township of Airdome was a collection of habdomes located far below the Spire, within a day's journey of the Underhive. Maps from the era show a large central dome surrounded by four slightly smaller domes at cardinal compass points.

Airdome was home to "The Duke". The first Duke came down from hive city with a retinue of retainers and personal guard sixty years before the story takes place, and moved into the central dome. According to genealogical records, the first Duke was the 20th son of a minor branch of House Ko'Iron. With limited prospects of inheriting much of worth, he moved to an ancient title of property bequeathed to him by his father to seek his fortune.

The last thing residents of Airdome wanted was a minor noble taking over their town as his private residence. They were a hard-working people, proud and reluctant to bow down to his rank or behave like indentured servants. It was believed that the Duke was in for a rude awakening, and a betting pool was started to see how long it would take for him to return uphive. It turned out that the residents were very wrong in their assumptions.

As expected, the Duke supplanted the Mayor as the ruler of Airdome. The Mayor was kept on as a senior advisor, and the Duke changed nothing else about the governing of the town. The captain of the Duke's personal guard become an advisor to the Chief Watchman, and within a year they had turned the town watch into an elite security force, protecting both the Duke and the citizens of Airdome.

Despite all the grumbling when the Duke took over the reins of government, not one of the citizens' fears becomes reality. The Duke turned out to be fair, generous, and a force for good in the town. Under his rule the town not only thrived, but gradually expanded into the four adjacent domes, becoming the Airdome depicted in legends.

The Dukes personal guards were not the hive city bully-boys that the citizens had expected. Most were highly trained technicians and engineers, who taught their skills to the citizens. After a few years, the local guild halls became formalized seats of learning with expanded apprenticeship programs. With a workforce of highly trained citizens, the town underwent massive restoration projects. The town cleaned up, buildings were renovated, and major lighting projects drove back the grim half-light common throughout the areas this close to the Underhive.

The greatest project of all was the restoration of the Skyway light array. Hidden in the gloom of the central domes high ceiling and under a thick layer of grime was an ancient archway that bisected the dome. Created by the dome's original founders, it rose high over Airdome, forgotten for generations. For a full year, engineers and technicians would vanish into the upper reaches of the dome, and the citizens could make out the flicker and glow of cutters and welders like stars in the darkness above. The completion of repairs to the Skyway literally marked a new dawn for Airdome.

One lights-on, Airdome remained in darkness. As the citizens moved into the streets, more annoyed than alarmed, The Duke activated the Skyway, timing it to the rising of the sun outside the walls of the hive. A few lights on the lower eastern edge of the Skyway came on, brighter than anything the citizens had ever seen before. Slowly more and more lights came on until a blazing circle of lights shone out of the Skyway and into Airdome, lighting the dome in the same way that the sun lit the world outside. The Skyway arch was a massive array of lights, and the circular display would slowly move up the arch and down the other side in perfect time with the sun outside, which none of the inhabitants (save The Duke and his men) had ever seen. At lights-out, the display would slowly vanish on the opposite side of the archway, and the process would repeat itself with the next lights-on cycle.

The Skyway light array was made of sun lamps, and so perfectly mimicked the sun that green plants could be grown inside Airdome. Gardens were planted, and a park was established by The Duke's manor. The general health of the citizens increased, and in spite of an initial outbreak of sunburn, everyone quickly adjusted to the new Skyway light.

Goods produced in Airdome were of a superior quality and much sought after in neighboring towns. Trade expanded and profits soared. Within a decade, news of Airdome's transformation had spread far and wide through the underhive. Guilders made sure trade caravans passed through the town on their way down to or up from the lowest levels of the hive. The town's techno guilds accepted apprentices from outside their borders, and so neighboring communities also began a slow renewal, spreading the good fortune that the Duke brought to Airdome.

But there were those who did not appreciate what the Duke brought, and others who were jealous of Airdome's good fortune. Local gangs did not appreciate the heightened security or the crackdown it brought on their activities. Gang members were being apprehended by the Watchmen in increasing numbers, and gangs from outside the borders of Airdome saw the lure of easy spoils in the expanding town.

Three of the local gangs who had suffered the most at the hands of the Duke and his expanded Watchmen banded together in the third year of his rule to try to oust him. The uprising was crushed ruthlessly by the Watchmen, who were far better trained and armed. Many of the remaining local gangs took this as a hint to leave town. More than a few gang members were impressed by the new Watchmen, left their gangs, and swelled the ranks of the local police force. The expanded Watchmen soon began escorting caravans to and from neighboring towns, making life for marauding gangs outside of Airdome's borders even more difficult.

And so the town grew under the Duke's rule. The town was clean, the air purifiers maintained, the water purified and the people well fed. The town was secure, and the main trails to their neighbors became safer than anyone could ever remember. The level of education for the common citizen was probably higher than anywhere else beneath Hive City.

After fifty years of prosperity, an outbreak of the Zombie Plague struck. The people of Airdome, with their clean air, water, and food, escaped mostly unscathed from the horrors of the plague itself, and the neighboring towns fared better than many other areas this far down the hive. Although Airdome didn't fall victim to the plague, they were not free from attack by those that did fall. Zombie hordes began moving up from lower hive zones, wiping out towns and holesteads as they advanced.

The Duke sealed Airdome to keep the zombie hordes out and safeguard his people. However, a call for aid from the nearby town of Forgeview could not go unanswered by the Duke. Taking a force of Watchmen, the Duke set out to reinforce Forgeview, which was protecting a bottleneck of open routes that prevented the hordes from invading the levels above them. The Dukes timely arrival, along with the large supply of flame weapons and promethium that he brought, decimated the zombie hordes. Guard reinforcements requested by the local Arbites precincts eventually arrived to find a field of charred zombies before the gates of Forgeview. Leaving them to clean up the stragglers, the Duke returned to Airdome with his contingent of Watchmen, who had suffered no losses.

The road back to Airdome still had wandering bands of zombies, which the Duke ferreted out and destroyed, until they had nearly reached the town gates. There they were set upon by a large force of plague zombies under the control of a Wytch, and the Duke fell, grievously wounded, within sight of the safety of Airdome's gates. The Duke's eldest son drove back the zombies, slew the Wytch, and brought his father back to the town. The Duke's wounds were severe, and the town's medicae could not save him. The people were afraid of what would happen to their glorious town.

The Duke's eldest son, Thevus, took the mantle of leadership and the title of Duke. In the ten years since the passing of the first Duke, the new Duke had proven to be every bit the ruler his father had been. Airdome continued to thrive and helped their neighbors rebuild.

Then a large band of Esher gangs moved into some of the neighboring towns, taking advantage of the plague losses and the power vacuum that ensued. Calling themselves the Fae Amazons, they waylaid caravans and raided nearby settlements. Eventually, the new Duke set out to defeat the Esher gangs and free up the surrounding areas. After many skirmishes and a few major battles, the Duke's forces cornered the Esher at Ventdown, where the Duke defeated the Esher leader Hollin in single combat. For unknown reasons, instead of slaying Hollin, the Duke spared her life. Now, all of Airdome revels in gossip, as the Duke prepares to take Hollin as his bride. And this is when the story takes place….


	2. Chapter 2

**PART ONE – The First Bit**

_The light array of Airdome's famed Skyway has reached the midday hour. As the citizens of Airdome go about their business, Thevus, the second Duke, enters the gardens of the Ducal House at the center of the grand dome. Having finished the midmeal, he brings his guests and retainers into the faux sunlight to finalize plans for his upcoming wedding. _

**Thevus:** Our wedding day will be here soon, Hollin. Only four more days. How slowly the time passes. If only I could make the Skyway cycle faster.

**Hollin:** The Skyway will cycle fast enough, especially as we dream away the lights-out hours. Then we will spend lights-out celebrating the start of our new life.

**Thevus:** Phindeaux, it is time. Spread the word throughout Airdome. This is a time for all to rejoice. Everyone should relax and enjoy themselves. Let there be no sad scavvies in town to ruin the wedding.

_(Phindeaux picks up his dataslate and leaves)_

Hollin, when I met you in battle, I never once thought I would win the love of such a fierce Esher woman. But by defeating you in single combat, I won your heart. Now we shall be wed with joy, feasting and such a festival that has never been seen here in Airdome.

_(As Thevus and Hollin pore over the dataslate with the plans for their wedding, a Watchman in burnished carapace armor escorts in Ignaus, one of the town's Elder Council. He drags by the arm his lovely daughter Hermione, a blonde maiden of marrying age. Following close them behind are Zander and Domos, two of Airdome's most desirable bachelors.)_

**Ignaus:** Greetings, Thevus. How go the wedding plans?

**Thevus:** Greetings, Ignaus. The plans go well. What brings you to see me today?

**Ignaus:** I have come to you today as a father at his wits end, thanks to my daughter Hermione. Domos, step up. My Duke, Domos has my consent to marry my daughter. But this one – step forward Zander- has bewitched my daughter's heart. You, yes you, Zander, have given Hermione poems and exchanged tokens of love with my daughter! You sit outside her window, singing songs of love during the lights-out hours! You've caught her fancy with presents of trinkets and baubles, bracelets, flowers and sweets – all popular tricks with you young people! Yes, you've snuck in and stolen her heart like a Delaque scoundrel, and turned the obedience due to me as her father into stubborn refusal!

My Duke, if she will not agree, here, in front of you and those assembled, to marry Domos, then I shall claim my rights under ancient Airdome regulations. She is my daughter, so I shall decide her fate. She will either marry Domos or she shall die, according to subsection 56a, paragraph 3, which applies to this situation.

**Thevus:** What do you have to say about this Hermione? A dutiful daughter should listen to her father. He brought you into this world, and, according to the ancient regulations, he can remove you from it. Domos is a worthy man.

**Hermione:** So is Zander.

**Thevus:** This is true. Both men appear to be growing into upstanding citizens and we look forward to both of their contributions to Airdome. But in this matter, since Domos has your father's approval, you must consider him worthier than Zander.

**Hermione:** I wish my father saw Zander the way that I do.

**Thevus:** Sadly, you must see things the way he does.

**Hermione:** I beg your pardon, my Duke. But I must protest. I know I'm young and I probably shouldn't say this in front of you, and your lady, and the other officials present here, but I must know the answer. What is the worst that can happen if I refuse to marry Domos?

**Thevus:** Sadly, according to these ancient regulations, you shall either be put to death, or you shall take the test for the Sisterhood and be exiled away from men forever. I advise you to think about this carefully, Hermione. You are still young, and feel your emotions fiercely. If you will not marry Domos, could you stand being cloistered away, waiting for the day when the Sisterhood comes to perform the Rituals? Could you remain a virgin forever, never knowing the joys of love or children?

**Hermione:** Then that is how it shall be. I will not marry a man that I do not love.

**Thevus:** Let's not be hasty. Take some time to think this over. Four days. Let us know your decision before the wedding. Either death, for disobeying your father's will, to marry Domos as Ignaus desires, or to enter the cloister of the Sisterhood and take the Rituals.

**Domos:** Hermione, please reconsider! Zander, give up this foolish quest for her hand!

**Zander:** You have Ignaus' love, Domos. Let me have Hermione's. You can marry her father.

**Ignaus:** How droll, Zander. It is true that he has my love, and because of that he shall also have my daughter. She belongs to me, and so I give her to Domos.

**Zander:** Elder Ignaus, my family is as powerful as his. I'm just as rich as he is, and I, for one thing, love Hermione. In all things, my future is as bright, if not brighter, than his. And, most importantly of all, Hermione loves me. So why shouldn't I pursue Hermione's hand? What's more, Domos has been pursuing Elaynia, daughter of Elder Raden, and won her heart. She loves, no, she worships, this two-timing sump rat.

**Thevus:** I have heard this as well, and I had planned on speaking with Domos about it. Unfortunately, my own wedding plans had driven it from my mind. Domos and Ignaus, come with me. I have some advice for you, some of which goes best with an old bottle of amasec my father left me. As for you Hermione, reconsider your father's wishes, or the Regulations of Airdome, which I cannot alter, condemns you to death or servitude. _(Hollin looks furious)_ Come now Hollin, we shall do what we can. _(He turns to leave)_ Domos and Ignaus, follow us. In addition to our discussion, I also have some errands for you related to my wedding day.

**Ignaus:** After you, my Duke. Anything I can do to help with the joyous occasion.

_(Thevus hands his data slate to a waiting aide, and everyone heads into the Ducal Palace, leaving Zander and Hermione alone in the gardens. Hollin shares a look with Hermione on her way out of the garden.)_

**Zander:** Are you feeling okay, Hermione? You look very pale.

**Hermione:** If I start crying, I don't think I'll ever stop.

**Zander:** I've never heard of true love following a smooth road, either in stories or in real life. Either the lovers are not from the same social class…

**Hermione:** Tragic, the Spire Lady who loves a commoner from Hive City…

**Zander:** Or maybe it's an age difference…

**Hermione:** Yes, the stories of a man too old to marry his young love…

**Zander:** Or their families disapproved.

**Hermione:** It's so unfair, having others make your choices for you.

**Zander:** Or even if the love pleased everyone, war, death, or the zombie plague would ruin everything. Love is temporary; swift as shadow, short as a dream, as brief as life after the strike of a blindsnake. Hope fades that fast…

**Hermione:** If true love never thrives, it must be the destiny of all lovers. So we must suffer as those who have loved always suffer. It's tradition, as much a part of love as the dreams, sighs, wishes and happy tears.

**Zander:** That is so very true. I have a plan, Hermione. I have an aunt who inherited a small fortune from my uncle and has no children of her own. She thinks of me, her favorite nephew, as her own son. Her manor is about two days journey uphive, and there we can be married, far away from these strict, archaic regulations of Airdome. If you love me, slip out of your father's house during tomorrow's lights-out, and meet me at North Gate, the place where I met you and Elaynia not so long ago. I'll wait for you there.

**Hermione:** Zander, my love. I swear to you that I will meet you tomorrow at that place.

**Zander:** Tomorrow then, my love. Oh, here comes Elaynia!

_(Elaynia hurries in)_

**Hermione:** Good day, fair Elaynia! Where are you going in such a hurry?

**Elaynia:** Why are you calling me "fair"? Take that back! Domos loves your "fairness", not mine! The color of your eyes, the sound of your voice. If I could, I'd swap places with you in an instant. I'd give everything in the world to do so. How can I look like you, how can I win Domos's love? Tell me how!

**Hermione:** I don't know. I frown at him, and still he loves me.

**Elaynia:** If only your frowns could teach my smiles to do such things.

**Hermione:** I reject him, and still he loves me.

**Elaynia:** If only my encouragements could win such affection!

**Hermione:** The more I hate him, the harder he tries.

**Elaynia:** The harder I try, the more he hates me...

**Hermione:** His mental defects, Elaynia, are not my fault.

**Elaynia:** It's because you're so beautiful. If only I looked like you.

**Hermione:** Don't fret. He won't see me again. Zander and I are running away together. Before I met Zander, Airdome was a place of wonder and beauty. Now it is a place of ashes and despair. It's not just any man that can turn heaven into hell.

**Zander:** You must promise not to tell anyone Elaynia. Tomorrow's lights-out, we will meet and leave Airdome together.

**Hermione:** Past North Gate, in the fungus groves where we used to play as children, Zander and I will meet and leave Airdome forever. Farewell, Elaynia. Pray for us, and may luck bring you your Domos. Keep your promise Zander; we must not see each other again until the time has come for us to slip away.

_(Hermione leaves)_

**Zander:** I will Hermione! Goodbye Elaynia. I hope you find the love you seek with Domos.

_(Zander leaves)_

**Elaynia:** Why do those two get to be so happy? All Airdome thinks that I'm as pretty as she is. But so what? Domos doesn't think so. Why can't he see it? He loves Hermione, who doesn't feel the same, just like I love him. Love is so stupid. Before Domos fell for Hermione, he swore that he loved only me. All she had to do was look at him, and he was off. All his love oaths to me vanished like ghosts. I'll tell on them. I'll tell Domos of Hermione's plans to run away. Then he'll follow her to North Gate tomorrow night. I may even get a "thanks" from him. Why should I be the only one who's miserable? Besides, this gives me a reason to see Domos again.

**PART ONE - The Second Bit**

_An empty store front in South Dome. Enter Pol Quin, a construction worker, carrying a large bundle of papers, Skib a plumber, Nix Brato the tanner, Forn Flexo the mechanic, Tam Squin the handyman, and Rol Sato the tailor._

**Quin:** Everyone here?

**Brato:** Do a roll call. Use the script_. _

**Quin:** Here's the list of men of Airdome who wish to perform in our play, which we hope to perform for the Duke and future Duchess at their wedding, once the celebrations start.

**Brato:** Okay Pol. Tell us what this play's about, and then read off the names of the performers.

**Quin:** The play is called "The Most Distressing Comedy, and Most Cruel Death, of Pyrius and Therese".

**Brato:** Ah, I know that one. A good choice, very entertaining. Let's do the roll call. C'mon lads, take your seats.

**Quin:** Answer as I call your name. Nix Brato, the tanner?

**Brato:** Here. Which part do I have?

**Quin:** You, Nix Brato, have been given the part of Pyrius.

**Brato:** Who is Pyrius? A lover, or maybe a mighty warrior?

**Quin:** A lover, who kills himself in the name of love.

**Brato:** Sounds like a real tear-jerker. I hope the audience brings plenty of tissues. I'll pull on their heart-strings and play on their sympathies. That sort of stuff. Although I'm really a much better hero. I could be a great Astartes, or maybe a duelist, something really manly and heroic. (He gives a demonstration)

The raging rocks

And shivering shocks

Shall break the locks

Of prison gates!

The light so bright

Shall pierce the night

And bring the fight

To rend the fates!

Wonderful stuff! That's the Astartes style: very heroic. Lovers are more teary and sensitive. Now, give the others their parts.

**Quin:** Forn Flexo, the mechanic?

**Flexo:** Here, Pol Quin!

**Quin:** Forn, you are playing Therese.

**Flexo:** Who is Therese? A wandering hero?

**Quin:** Nope. Therese is the lady Pyrius loves.

**Flexo:** No, really. C'mon. Don't make me play a woman. Look, I've been growing my beard out.

**Quin:** Keep the beard. You can wear a mask, and speak with a real high voice if you want.

**Brato:** If I can wear a mask, I'll play Therese too! I can speak really high! _(First his Astartes voice)_ "Terry! Terry!" _(Changing to falsetto)_ "Oh Pyrius, my manly man! I am you lady dear!"

**Quin:** Nope. Sorry. You must be Pyrius, and Forn will be Therese.

**Brato:** Fine…who's next?

**Quin:** Rol Sato, the tailor?

**Sato:** Here, Pol.

**Quin:** Rol Sato, you must play Therese's mother. Tam Squin, handyman?

**Squin:** Here, Pol Quin.

**Quin:** You will play Pyrius's father. I'll play Therese's father. Skib the plumber, you have the part of the Lion. That's the entire cast.

**Skib:** Does the Lion have a lot of lines? I'd like to see them, 'cause it takes me awhile to remember stuff.

**Quin:** Wing it. It's nothing but roaring, really.

**Brato:** I can be the Lion as well! I can roar so well that everyone's heart will skip a beat! I'll roar so that the Duke will say "Do it again! Again!"

**Quin:** If you roar too scarily, you might scare the Duchess and her ladies, and make them scream! You might get us all hanged for that!

**All:** _(nodding seriously)_ We'd be hanged, every one of us.

**Brato:** Yes, that's true. If we frightened the ladies out of their wits, we'd swing for sure. But I could roar sweetly and prettily instead.

**Quin:** You are Pyrius and only Pyrius. He's a handsome man, really handsome. A real ladies man, a total stud. So you must play Pyrius.

**Brato:** Well…okay I guess. Which beard should I wear for the part?

**Quin:** Pick whichever one you want.

**Brato:** I'll chose either a light brown one, or maybe darker brown, or possibly a red one, or how about a rich yellow one, like a Guilder credit.

**Quin:** To their credit, some Guilders have gone bald, so maybe you should be clean shaven instead! _(The men enjoy the joke with guffaws of laughter)_ So here are the scripts. _(He passes them around)_. I must remind you all to learn your parts by tomorrow's lights-out. We'll meet outside the North Gate tomorrow lights-out and practice in the fungus grove just outside the gate. If we practiced anywhere inside Airdome, we'd get an audience for sure, and our play won't be a surprise anymore. I'll write a list of the props we'll need. Don't let me down, guys!

**Brato:** We'll meet, and we'll rehearse loud and long. Study hard! Learn your lines! See you tomorrow!

**Quin:** We'll meet at the Duke's Plaque.

**Brato:** Gotcha! Be there on time, or else!

_(They all leave)_


	3. Chapter 3

**PART TWO – The First Bit**

_The next day after lights-out in the Fungus Grove outside North Gate. Two Ratskins enter. Greyash from one side, Rusty from the other._

**Rusty:** Hello, kinfolk. Where are you off to?

**Greyash:** Over pipe, over wire, through grove, through dome,

Through vent, through tunnel, by hab-block I roam.

I am a scout for the ratskin Queen

Keeping a watch on things unseen.

Her guardians are ratskins tall,

Around the queen they form a wall.

Masters of weapons, hand and shot,

All do well to avoid that lot.

I must seek some hivers here,

For the Queen approaches near.

Farewell Rusty, I must away

Our Queen and court come here to play.

**Rusty:** The King is coming here tonight,

Make sure the Queen stays out of sight!

For Overhang is in a towering rage,

Since the Queen has taken on a page

A pretty boy, taken from green hivers

A plaything for a great conniver.

Jealous Overhang would wish the child

To be his page in hab-domes wild;

But she, through power, keeps the boy

Dresses him rich and makes him her toy.

So now each must avoid the other

Or there arises such a bother

That both their courts keep out of sight

For their quarrels are such a fright.

**Greyash:** By the spirits, if I'm not mistaken

You must be that famous ratskin

Only known as Rusty. Haven't you made

The hivers of the nearby domes afraid?

Stole their stash, meddled with their water-still?

Made it so its yield did spill?

Drove the blind snakes out of sight,

Misled travelers, laughed at their fright?

"Hobgoblin" they name you, and "Bad Luck"

When at times you run amuck.

Are you not him?

**Rusty:** You've guessed my name.

I am the secret player of those games.

I'm Overhang's prankster. I make him laugh.

I trick the slave train (Guilders and staff)

By calling out like Ripperjacks.

I sneak inside the warehouse stacks

Switch the markers far and near.

I make their fortune tellers fear

For when they sit inside their stall

I tip their chairs so that they fall.

And then the hivers gathered 'round

Do laugh and make a merry sound.

But to one side, here comes Overhang!

**Greyash:** And there is my Queen – if only Overhang weren't here!

_(Overhang, the Ratskin King, enters the fungus grove with his troupe. Titanweb the Queen enters from the opposite side of the grove with her attendants.)_

**Overhang:** What misfortune brings you here at this time, proud Titanweb?

**Titanweb:** Gah! Jealous Overhang! Let's go from here. I want nothing to do with him.

**Overhang:** Not so fast, Titanweb! Are you not my wife?

**Titanweb:** Then you must be my husband – but I know that you slip away from the homeland and pretend to be the rat herder Korin, playing the pipes all day long and writing love letters to that hive woman Thylis. And what has brought you here, at this time? Oh, maybe it is because your heartthrob Esher warrior-woman, the she-devil in synth-leather, is due to marry Thevus and you want to wish them well on their wedding day?

**Overhang:** Come now, Titanweb! How can you make snide comments about Hollin, when you know that I know of our desire for Thevus? Didn't you guide him safely during the last zombie incursion? And didn't you trick him into fighting Agrian and abandoning those voluptuous raven-haired twins, Alyson and Antia?

**Titanweb:** Lies, created by your jealousy! It's been a nearly full turning that we've been unable to Dance for the Hive Spirits, either in dome or grove, archeotech site or hidden zone, or by the shores of a floe, without you screwing everything up with your foul behavior! You've been so foul that the Hive Spirits think we have forgotten them. Sump spills flood the lower tunnels, foul vapors fill the upper vents and the fungus fields dry up or drown their crop. Ripperjacks feast on the corpses of Herd Rats and safe paths are lost to minor hive quakes. Power flows blow junction boxes, air conditioning runs hot and heating units blow cold. All of this caused of our quarrels. The hive spirits are punishing us for our transgressions.

**Overhang:** Fix it then. Put things right. Why do you go against your husband's wishes? I'm only asking for the little hiver boy, to be my page.

**Titanweb:** You can forget about that, Overhang. I'm not selling the boy. His mother was a dear friend of mine, who would tell me tales of hiver life and sit with me in hidden pipes, watching the slave trains walk their cargo through the underhive. We would laugh as the bloated Guilders bellowed and turned unnatural colors in their rage. Even while pregnant with the boy, she would fetch me treats and trinkets, grossly imitating the Guilder pack trains. But she was just a hiver, not in touch with the hive spirits, and died giving birth. For her sake, I'm raising the boy, and I will never part with him.

**Overhang:** How long are you going to stay in this grove?

**Titanweb:** Perhaps until after Thevus' wedding day. If you'll be reasonable, and dance the sacred dances with us and watch the celebrations that come after the wedding, then join us. If you won't, then stay away from us and I'll stay far away from where you are.

**Overhang:** Give me the boy, and I'll join you.

**Titanweb:** Not for all the archeotech sites in your Kingdom. Let us leave here. If I stay near him much longer, things will get very nasty.

_(Titanweb leaves with her attendants)_

**Overhang:** Off with you then! But you won't leave this fungus grove until you've suffered for this insult. Rusty! Do you remember the time I sat upon a slag heap, and heard the hive spirits singing a sweet song that calmed a raging sea of millasaurs, while power taps in the ceiling sparked out with joy at the sound?

**Rusty:** I remember.

**Overhang:** At that time, I saw Qufus (though you didn't see him) pass through the heights of the dome. He blew a kiss at a Guilder's daughter, but a flare from a sparking power tap spoiled his aim, and the young maiden passed on, unaware that the hive spirit of love had had her in his sights. I saw where Qufus' kiss landed. Upon a delicate yellow mushroom, now with a crown stained purple by Qufus' kiss. Hive maidens call it "Love-in-waiting" due to the heart-shaped mark. Fetch me one. When its juice is placed upon the eyelids of a sleeping person, they fall madly in love with the next creature they see. Fetch me one, and return here before a sump mare can swim three leagues.

**Rusty:** I'll climb the spire in 40 minutes!

(Rusty departs)

**Overhang:** Once I've got the juice, I'll put a drop upon Titanweb's eyes while she sleeps. The next thing she sees when she wakes – whether it's a millasaur, a ripperjack, a dust bat, or a lash worm, a herd rat or a feral rat – she'll follow it around as her true love. Then I'll make her surrender the boy to me, before I remove the spell with another herb. Ahh! Someone approaches. Scatter! I will remain invisible, and see what they are doing here.

_(Overhang's attendants vanish into the grove. Domos enters, followed by Elaynia.)_

**Domos:** I don't love you! Stop following me around! Where are Zander and Hermione? I'll kill that Zander! Hermione will be the death of me! You said they were hiding in this fungus grove. I'm out of my mind with worry, since I cannot find my Hermione! Go away! I said stop following me!

**Elaynia:** I can't help it. You're like a magnet for my heart. Lose your magnetism, and I'll stop following you.

**Domos:** I don't encourage you! I'm not even nice to you! How many times do I have to tell you that I do not love you, and I never could?

**Elaynia:** I love you all the more for your truth. I'm your slave. Spurn me, strike me, ignore me, lose me. Just let me follow you, even though I am unworthy. To me it's a place of pride, following behind you like your slave.

**Domos:** Just stop it! Looking at you makes me sick!

**Elaynia:** But it makes me sick to not look at you.

**Domos:** What will the people say about you? You have left the safety of Airdome; put yourself in a risky position, alone, with someone who doesn't love you. We are all alone in a darkened grove, where I may take you against your will.

**Elaynia:** Your virtue protects me, and when I'm with you, it is never dark. As far as I can see, you are everything in the world, and so we are never alone.

**Domos:** I'll abandon you, hide among the mushrooms and leave you to the mercy of the hive beasts!

**Elaynia:** The beasts don't have a heart like yours. Run if you must. We'll reverse the roles of the old love stories, Dafne pursues Apotto, the child chases the millasaur, and the ripperjack flees the timid dust bat. It's silly when the cowards chase the brave.

**Domos:** I refuse to keep discussing this! Go away! If you insist on following me, I swear I'll do something to make your regret it.

**Elaynia**: You make me regret it when I'm at the Emperor's Shrine, in the town, or wandering the gardens. You're making this go all wrong, Domos. Women don't fight for love, we're wooed. You shouldn't make me woo you! _(Domos runs into the fungus grove)_ I'll follow you anywhere, and find happiness in misery, even if you do me harm! _(Elaynia follows him)_

**Overhang:** Fare well, young woman. Before you two leave this grove, you'll be running away from him. I'll make sure he'll be seeking your love. _(Rusty returns)._ Welcome back. Have you brought the mushroom I seek?

**Rusty: ** Yes my King. Here it is.

**Overhang:** Give it to me, please. I know a space here in the grove where the mushroom stalks form a kind of bower. Titanweb likes to sleep there after the Spirit Dances and the celebrations that follow. The blindsnakes shed their skins in that place, which are often large enough to use as blankets. I will place the juice of this _(Overhang holds the mushroom aloft)_ upon her eyelids, and whisper dirty thoughts into her ear. _(To Rusty)_ You take some of the juice and go hunting through the grove. A sweet Airdome lady pursues a youth who rejects her love. Anoint his eyes, but make sure that the next thing he sees is the lady. You'll know the man, for he is also from Airdome. Be generous, so that he is more in love with her than she is with him. We will meet before their lights-on begins.

**Rusty:** Don't worry, my King. I will obey.

_(They depart)_

**PART TWO - The Second Bit**

_Titanweb's sleeping area in the grove. She enters with her followers._

**Titanweb:** Now is the time. We shall dance in a ring and sing to the hive spirits. Then you shall depart: some will hunt the feral rat here in the grove, some the blindsnake to make pouches for our brethren, and the rest to drive off the ripperjacks so they do not disturb our slumber. Sing me to sleep, then be off about your duties so I may rest.

**Ratskin Brave:** _(sings)_

Sacred blindsnakes with two-pronged tongues

And spikey hiverats – don't be seen!

Spores and lashworms – do no wrong!

Don't come near our ratskin queen!

**All the Ratskins**

Whispertrill, with melody

Join in our sweet lullaby

Lulla, lulla, lullaby; lulla, lulla, lullaby

No Harm, nor spell, nor charm

Come upon our lady nigh

So goodnight with sweet lullaby

**Ratskin Maiden:**

Wolfen Spiders, don't come here!

Away, you long-legged hunters! Hence!

Dung beetles, don't come near!

Slugs and snails – give no offense!

**All:** Whispertrill, with melody

Join in our sweet lullaby

Lulla, lulla, lullaby; lulla, lulla, lullaby

No Harm, nor spell, nor charm

Come upon our lady nigh

So goodnight with sweet lullaby

**Ratskin Brave:** Let's get started. All looks well. You, stay on guard here.

_(All the ratskins depart but the guard. Overhang enters, still invisible)_

**Overhang:** _(squeezing the juice on Titanweb's eyelids, Overhang performs his spell)_

What you see when you awake

Shall you love, all else forsake

No matter what their form shall take.

Be it rat, ripperjack or spawn

Esher maid or Goliath brawn

Whatever before your eyes appears

When you wake up, your sight endears.

Awake when something vile is near!

_(Overhang leaves)_

_(Zander and Hermione enter)_

**Zander:** I know you are tired from wandering through this grove, my love. I fear I am lost. We'll rest here awhile. Maybe when lights-on arrives, we'll be able to find our way.

**Hermione:** Okay, Zander. Find someplace to sleep. I'll sleep here, by this fallen trunk.

**Zander:** It would be best if we slept together. Our hearts are one, our bed should be one.

**Hermione:** No, Zander. Please, for my sake. Lie farther away. It's not proper for us to lie too close together.

**Zander:** No no, my love. I think you misunderstand. I meant nothing naughty. I only meant that since we have sworn our love, our hearts are bound together, and that I should sleep next to you, not sleep with you.

**Hermione:** You play with words very nicely. I'm sorry if I thought you were suggesting something else. But, in the name of love, you must not lie next to me. It's not proper for a single girl and boy. _(She indicates a good spot)_ This far apart. Good night, my love. May our love never change as long as we live.

**Zander:** Amen to that. I'd never harm your honor, or I'd deserve to die. I'll sleep here. Sweet dreams.

**Hermione:** And you as well.

_(They fall asleep)_

_(Rusty enters)_

**Rusty:** Through this grove I have been,

But no Airdome man I've seen

On whose eyes to try the spell

This mushroom's juice does tell.

Dark and quiet. Who lies there?

Airdome's clothing he does wear.

This is the one my king has said

The Airdome maiden wants to wed.

And here's the maiden, sleeping sound

Upon the damp and dirty ground.

Lovely girl, she longs to stretch

Toward this bad man; loveless wretch!

Hive scum! Upon your lids I place

The magic that these plants embrace.

_(He squeezes a few drops upon Zander's eyelids)_

When you awake, sweet love denies

That you can ever close your eyes.

Awaken with the lights-on clang

For now I go to Overhang.

_(Rusty leaves)_

_(Domos and Elaynia enter, running)_

**Elaynia:** Please stop, even if it's to kill me, Domos!

**Domos:** Stop following me like this!

**Elaynia:** Will you really leave me here in the dark? Please don't!

**Domos:** I warned you, so you're on your own!

_(Domos rushes off)_

**Elaynia:** I'm so exhausted from all this silly running around. The more I try, the less I get. How happy Hermione must be, wherever she is. Her eyes sparkle with love, mine sparkle with tears. I am just hideous, even the underhive beasts run from me. No wonder Domos runs away like I'm some scavvy mutant. How could I ever compare with Hermione? _(She notices Zander sleeping on the ground)_ What is this? Why is Zander lying on the ground? Is he dead, or just sleeping? I can't see any blood or wounds. _(She shakes him)_ Zander –please be alive, wake up!

**Zander:** _(wakes up, face to face with Elaynia)_ I would run through fire for you, sweet Elaynia. I see with new eyes, and know the loving heart that lies within your chest. Where is Domos? He is fit only to die on my sword!

**Elaynia:** Don't say that, Zander! Don't! _(mistaking his reasons)_ So what if he loves Hermione? It doesn't matter! Hermione love you. You should be happy.

**Zander:** Happy with Hermione? No! I regret all the boring hours I've wasted in her company. I love Elaynia, not Hermione. Who wouldn't gladly trade a ripperjack for a crystaldove? A man's mind may be changed by truth. And the facts say, you are the better woman. Stingermoss doesn't ripen until it's ready. Before this, I was young; I wasn't ready to see the truth. Now that I'm older and wiser, I see you for the true love that you are.

**Elaynia:** Why do you say these things? Was I born to be mocked? Isn't it bad enough that Domos has never paid any attention to me, and now you pull this? It isn't funny that you pretend to woo me in such a false manner! Goodbye! I thought you were more of a gentleman. Why must I be rejected by Domos and then abused by you?

_(She runs off in distress)_

**Zander:** She didn't notice Hermione. Sleep where you are, and never come near me again! Just like Redemptionists hate their former lives, may you, my false love, now be hated! My entire being I now dedicate to loving Elaynia and Elaynia only.

_(He follows after Elaynia)_

**Hermione:** _(waking from a nightmare)_ Help! Help me Zander! Get this blindsnake off me! By the Emperor, what a foul dream I just had! Zander, see how much my hands are shaking? I thought a serpent was eating my heart, while you sat there, smiling, as he devoured me! Zander? Where are you? Zander? Can you hear me? Where has he gone? I can't hear him, there's no sounds. Where are you? Answer me! In the name of love, answer me! I'm so scared! Nothing. He must be lost. I'll go and find him, or my death.

_(She goes, leaving Titanweb alone and asleep)_


	4. Chapter 4

**PART THREE – The First Bit**

_Quin, Brato, Skib, Flexo, Squin, and Sato enter the clearing in the fungus grove._

**Brato:** Everyone here?

**Quin:** Right on time. And this is the perfect place for us to rehearse. This empty space will be the stage, and that thicket of stalks will be the dressing room. We'll go through the play as if we were performing before the Duke.

**Brato:** Pol Quin?

**Quin:** Yes, friend Brato?

**Brato:** There are some things in this comedy about Pyrius and Therese that won't be liked. First, Pyrius has to pull out a sword and kill himself, which will probably upset the ladies, don't you think?

**Squin:** By the Emperor, he's got a point, there.

**Sato:** I guess we'll just have to leave the killing out then.

**Brato:** No no no! I already figured out how to fix it. We write a prologue, and in that prologue, we let the ladies know we won't do any harm with our swords, and that Pyrius doesn't really kill himself. To make sure they really understand, we tell them that I'm not really Pyrius, but Brato the tanner. Then they'll have no fear.

**Quin:** Then we'll right a prologue. It'll have to be in verse…eight beats in the first line, six in the next…

**Brato:** No, I think it should have two more beats. Make it eight and eight.

**Squin:** But wait! Won't the ladies be scared of the lion too?

**Sato:** It would scare me, that's for sure.

**Brato:** We'd better think about this! Imagine, bringing in a lion – Emperor help us! –among the fine ladies, what a horrible thing to do. There's nothing more frightening than a lion in all of creation. Whatever shall we do?

**Squin:** So we'll just write a second prologue, saying he's not a real lion.

**Brato:** On top of that, we'll have to give his real name, and make sure you can see his face through the mask. He can say "Ladies", or "Beautiful Ladies" – "I would wish you" or "I would like you" or "I would ask that you be not afraid. If you thought I was really a fearsome lion, I'd be horrified. I am no such thing, I am an ordinary man" or something like that. And then he can tell them that he's really Skib the plumber.

**Quin:** Well, that's sorted. But there are two other problems. First, how to bring moonlight into the room, because Pyrius and Therese meet by "moonlight"

**Squin:** "Moonlight"? How can we get moonlight into the center of the hive?

**Brato:** Do we even have moons here on Necromunda?

**Quin:** Yes, I think we do. But we can't see it from here in Airdome. I heard that you can see them from the Spire…

**Brato:** If only there was a window from the Duke's hall into the Spire, then we'd be all set.

**Quin:** True. Or, we could have someone come in holding a lantern, and we could tell everyone that he represents the moonshine. There's also the second problem: We must have a wall in the Duke's hall, because Pyrius and Therese, according to the scripts, talk through a chink in the wall.

**Squin:** We'll never be able to bring in a wall! Do you have any ideas, Brato?

**Brato:** Somebody must pretend to be a wall. He'll have to wear a costume with some rocrete, or mortar, or maybe some bricks, to make him look wall-ish. And he can hold up his fingers like this _(he makes a V to demonstrate)_ so that Pyrius and Therese can whisper through the gap.

**Quin:** Then we've got nothing to worry about! We'll do it that way. But now we must rehearse. Pyrius, you start. When you've said your lines, go into the stalk thicket. Then everyone else do the same.

_(Rusty enters unseen)_

**Rusty:** What are all these hivers doing here, making such a ruckus so close to where the Ratskin Queen sleeps? It looks like they're rehearsing a story. I'll be their audience, and maybe give them a hand as well.

**Quin:** Speak, Pyrius. Therese, come forward.

**Brato:** _(as Pyrius)_ Therese, the flowers have odious sweet scents…

**Quin:** Odorous. Odorous.

**Brato:** Odorous sweet scents, so has your breath, my dearest Therese. But listen! Someone's here. Stay a little while, and hopefully I'll return to you.

_(He leaves dramatically)_

**Rusty:** The strangest hero ever! _(He follows Brato)_

**Flexo:** Is that my cue to speak?

**Quin:** Of course. You see, he's only gone to see what made the noise, and then he'll be back.

**Flexo:** _(as Therese)_

Most radiant Pyrius, most shining white of hue;

Of color like the red bloom upon the strangle-wire,

Most lively boy, whose heart is ever true;

You faithful man, who never seems to tire.

I'll meet you, Pyrius, at Ninny's tomb.

**Quin:** It's "Ninus's tomb", Flexo! And you said that too early! You say that back to Pyrius. You're playing your part all at once, cues and everything. Pyrius, enter! You missed your cue! It was "never seems to tire".

**Flexo:** Oh, you faithful man, who never seems to tire.

_(Brato returns. His head has been transformed into a Rats head, but doesn't know it.)_

**Brato:** _(as Pyrius)_ If I were beautiful, Therese… _(He pauses and starts again)_

If I were, beautiful Therese, I'd be yours alone.

**Quin:** By the Throne! What is this? Some sort of monster! Everyone run! Run! Run for your lives!

_(Everyone but Brato and Rusty runs away)_

**Rusty:** I'll follow you! I'll chase you round and round

Through muck, through pipe, through tunnel, through wire!

Sometime I'll act a rat, sometimes a frightening sound,

A flash of light, a scavvy scaly, or else a fire!

I'll squeak and creak, clap, roar and burn

Like rat, sound, flash, mutant, fire, with every turn!

_(Rusty chases after them)_

**Brato:** What is this, some kind of joke? Why are they running away? Are they trying to scare me?

_(Squin returns)_

**Squin:** Brato! You've changed! What is that upon your head?

**Brato:** What do you mean? Changed? Am I a rat like you, now?

_(Squin runs off. Quin comes back)_

**Quin: ** Throne protect you, Brato! You've been wyrded!

_(He runs off)_

**Brato:** I get it now. They're trying to see if they can frighten me. But I won't move. No matter what they do. I'll stride around, and sing at the top of my lungs so that they'll know I won't scamper like some rat. Maybe one of the old songs.

The ravenbird so black of hue

Upon the whisperwill,

The thrush that has a song so true

The wren with tiny trill –

**Titanweb:** What angel wakes me from my sweet dreams?

**Brato:** (singing on) The finch, the sparrow and the lark

The two-note cuckoo gray

Whose song's a message all men mark,

To which they daren't say nay.

Whatever that means. Maybe I should sing one of the drinking songs. That'll get them to come back, thinking there's free drinks at hand.

**Titanweb:** Yes, please sing some more, gentle hiver. I loved hearing your song. Your looks are so fascinating. Some…animal magnetism compels me to declare that I love you. Love at first sight.

**Brato:** I can't think of why you'd say that, madam. But then again, love and reason don't go together very often. Most people won't link the two things together. But I can say the right things when I need to.

**Titanweb: ** Ahh…both brains and beauty.

**Brato:** I really don't think so. As a matter of fact, I can't even figure out how to get out of this grove. If I had enough brains to do that, I'd be happy.

**Titanweb:** From this fungus grove you'll not go

You shall stay, whether you desire it or no.

I am a spirit of some nobility

With powers over this facility

I love you truly. So we shall proceed

My kinsmen shall fulfill your every need.

They'll fetch you jewels from the spider mares

And sing while they are woven in your hairs.

I'll take away all your desires,

You'll join us at our sacred fires.

Pipedreamer, Webrunner, Ripperjack, Sporemoss!

_(Four Ratskin maidens enter)_

**Pipedreamer:** Ready!

**Webrunner:** Me too!

**Ripperjack:** You summoned?

**Sporemoss:** We appear!

**All:** What is your desire?

**Titanweb:** Be kind and courteous to this gentle hiver:

Dance before him, hide not from his eyes

Feed him the apricocks and dewberries,

The mushroom buttons, stems and crowns

Sweet treats from the sacred mounds

And the purist water that can be found.

Make lanterns from the fire beetles eyes

To guide my love safely where he lies

Pluck the wings from gentle dustyflies

To fan the dust from upon his sleeping eyes.

Bow to him, kin, and give him praise.

**All: **Hail, hiver!

**Brato:** Greetings to you all. _(To Webrunner)_ May I know the lovely maiden's name?

**Webrunner:** Webrunner

**Brato:** I'd like to get to know you better, good Webrunner. If I cut myself, you can come running to stop the bleeding. _(To Pipedreamer)_ And your name?

**Pipedreamer:** Pipedreamer

**Brato:** My regards to Mr. Vent and Mrs. Sleep, your parents. I'd like to know you better as well, Pipedreamer. _(To Sporemoss)_ Your name, please?

**Sporemoss:** Sporemoss

**Brato:** Ah, Sporemoss, I know much about you. Many of my neighbors have used your relations to heal their wounds. I've used a few myself, I must say. We must see more each other good Sporemoss.

**Titanweb:** Come now. Wait upon him and escort him to my bed. The night is young, and so am I. _(Brato utters an excited squeak)_ Quiet my lover's tongue. Lead him in quietly.

**PART THREE -The Second Bit**

_Another part of the fungus grove. Overhang enters._

**Overhang:** I wander if Titanweb has awoken yet. And what did she see first, that she now must love completely?

_(Rusty enters the grove)_

Here comes my messenger. What have you been up to? Any mischief?

**Rusty:** The queen is in love with a monster! A bunch of hivers, workers judging by what I heard, met in secret by the queen's hidden arbor in order to rehearse a play for the Duke's wedding day. The most thick-headed of this group of imbeciles, who played the part of Pyrius in the play, left the space and went into a stalk thicket. So I stole after him and fixed a giant rat's head upon his shoulders. Then, when the actor playing Therese spoke his cue, out came this so-called actor. When the others spotted him, they cried out and scattered into the thicket. I pursued them, and hearing my pursuit, one of them tripped and fell. I swear he wet himself. "Murder!" he shouted, and ran calling for help from Airdome. They were so terrified, that they ran heedless through the grove, tripping over fallen stalks and bouncing off low-hanging caps. I chased them and fed their panic, leaving sweet "Pyrius" alone with his new looks. And it just so happened that at that moment, Titanweb awoke – and immediately fell in love with the rat!

**Overhang:** I couldn't have planned it better! But did you juice the Airdome lad's eyes, like I told you to?

**Rusty:** I did that as well. I found him sleeping with the Airdome maiden by his side. He can't help but see her when he awakes.

_(Domos and Hermione enter)_

**Overhang:** Hide. This is the lad that I meant.

**Rusty:** This is the right woman, but that's the wrong man!

_(They blend into the grove)_

**Domos:** Why do you refuse me, Hermione? Keep your angry words for your bitter enemies!

**Hermione:** You think I'm angry now? Why shouldn't I be? You've given me every reason to curse you! If you killed Zander in his sleep, you may as well kill me too! I know he was faithful to me, so why would he sneak away while I was sleeping? I'd just as soon believe that the Spire nobles have invited us all up, while they go to live in hive bottom! You have murdered him! You look like a killer, so dark and grim.

**Domos:** That's how victims look. It's no surprise I look this way, stabbed through the heart by your cruelty. But you, my killer, look bright and lovely.

**Hermione:** What does that have to do with my Zander? Where is he? Please Domos, will you give him back to me?

**Domos:** I'd rather feed his carcass to the carrion eaters.

**Hermione:** You rotten, foul vulture! You try my patience! Have you killed him? I don't see you as human anymore! Tell the truth! Tell me, please! Would you have dared to face him if he'd been awake? Did you kill him in his sleep? Coward! That's how a snake kills! A snake did the dead! No snake ever did as much harm with their forked tongues as you have, you serpent!

**Domos:** You've got it all wrong. I haven't killed Zander. As far as I know, he's still alive.

**Hermione:** Please tell me he's all right!

**Domos:** And if I do, what do I get in return?

**Hermione:** The pleasure of never seeing me again. On second thought, I'll say goodbye. It doesn't matter if he's dead or not, I cannot stand to be near you a second longer.

_(She leaves)_

**Domos:** There's no point in following her now, she's so angry. I'll rest here, for awhile then. My heartache is made worse by my lack of sleep. Maybe I should take a little nap.

_(He lies down and falls asleep)_

**Overhang:** What have you done? This is all wrong! You put the juice on the eyes of someone who was already in love! Your mistake has upset true love, not put false love right!

**Rusty:** The hive spirits decided that. For every hiver that keeps his promises, a million more break theirs. One oath cancels out another.

**Overhang:** Fly around the grove, swifter than wind and find this Elaynia of Airdome. She's lovesick and pale, crying over her mistreatment. Trick her into coming here. I'll recast the spell on his eyes before she arrives.

**Rusty:** I go, I go; look how I go. Swifter than a harpoon fired from a scaly crossbow.

_(He leaves)_

**Overhang:** _(squeezing some juice onto Domos' eyes)_

Mushroom with this purple dye

Strike with Qufus' accuracy!

Pierce the window of his eye.

When true love he first does see

Let her glow as gloriously

As the fruit of sacred lumos tree.

When you wake, and she is close

Beg that she be your betrothed.

_(Rusty returns)_

**Rusty:** Captain of our ratskin band

Elaynia is near at hand

And the youth that I mistook

Pleading his love be not forsook

Let us away and we shall see

Lord, what fools these hivers be!

**Overhang:** To one side. The noise they make

Shall cause this Airdome lad to wake.

**Rusty:** Then two men will love one girl!

Oh what chaos will unfurl!

These kinds of things, they quite please me

Because they happen accidently.

_(They fade back into the grove as Zander and Elaynia enter)_

**Zander:** Why do you think I am insincere? Tears don't come with false love! I weep with true love, for vows born in tears are always honest. How can you not believe I love you, when you can see the truth in my tears?

**Elaynia:** Does your deceit know no bounds? When you swear your love to one of us, then the other vow is a lie. That's the truth! Your love belongs to Hermione. Have you rejected her? If one of your vows cancels out the other so easily, it shows you have no integrity. Your vows of love aren't worth the air you waste speaking them!

**Zander:** I was out of my mind when I swore my love to her.

**Elaynia:** You're out of it now, since you are giving her up.

**Zander:** Domos loves her. He doesn't love you.

**Domos:** Oh Elaynia! My goddess! So perfect, so divine! How can I describe your eyes? Crystals are muddy compared to them. Your lips are perfection, tempting and luscious. The skin of your hands, so smooth and pure. Let me kiss this perfection, and seal our happiness!

**Elaynia:** What? What is this? I see it now; you two are playing a cruel joke on me! If you were real men, you wouldn't do this to me! I already know that you hate me, and now you conspire with Zander to make fun of me? Real men don't abuse a lady like this, swearing their love, mocking her looks, when she already knows you hate her! How very manly you are! To make me cry for your amusement!

**Zander:** Stop this foolishness, Domos! You love Hermione! You know that I know this. So now, I step aside and surrender my place in Hermione's heart to you! Give me your place in Elaynia's, for I truly love her, and will until the day I die!

**Elaynia:** Stop this at once! Both of you!

**Domos:** Zander, you stay with Hermione! I don't want her. If I ever did, well, I was mistaken. My heart only belongs to Elaynia, and with her it shall stay.

**Zander:** Elaynia, he lies!

**Domos:** Don't underestimate my love, or you will pay dearly for it!

_(Hermione enters)_

Look - your loved one is here! There's your sweetheart!

**Hermione:** The darkness that inhibits the eyes makes the ears more sensitive. I didn't find Zander by looking, I found him by listening. Zander, why did you leave me all alone back there?

**Zander:** When love drives a man to leave, why would he stay?

**Hermione:** Whose love could take you from me?

**Zander:** My beloved Elaynia, who beautifies the darkness with her very presence! Why did you follow me? Didn't you realize that I left because I hate you?

**Hermione:** You can't mean that! This can't be right!

**Elaynia:** Aha! You're in league with these two! Now I see! The three of you have gotten together to play this cruel joke on me! Hermione, this is insulting! How can you be a part of this? Plotting with them to hurt me so! I loved you like a sister! All the hours we've spent together, everything we've shared? Is everything forgotten so easily? We've been friends since childhood! We've done everything together, singing the same songs, playing the same games, working together as one on our needlework! We were like one person, split in two. One heart, one mind, but in two bodies. Will you throw all that away to play a sick joke on me with these two? No friend would do that! Every woman would condemn you for this!

**Hermione:** Your words hurt me. I'm not a part of this! It seems like you're playing a joke on me!

**Elaynia:** It wasn't you that put Zander up to following me around, mocking my love and pretending to praise my looks? And who made your other love, Domos –who very recently rejected me – start calling me "goddess," "perfect," and "divine"? Why would he say these things to a woman he hates? And why does Zander suddenly reject your love and then offer his heart to me if it wasn't because you told him to? I don't have half of what you have. You're smothered in love; I'm smothered in misery. I love, but am not loved in return. You have every reason to pity me, not play this cruel joke on me.

**Hermione:** I have no idea what you are talking about!

**Elaynia:** Oh yes. Ha ha. Carry on your little joke. Pretend to be all serious while the others make faces behind my back. Wink at each other when I'm not looking and keep up this amusing joke. Then you can brag about it in town, so that everyone will know. If you had any humanity, compassion, or decency you wouldn't do this to me. Goodbye to you all. This is partly my fault, but maybe my death or disappearance will make everything right.

**Zander:** Don't leave, Elaynia! Listen to me! My love, my life, my soul, all are yours, dear Elaynia!

**Elaynia:** Oh, very funny!

**Hermione:** My love, don't make fun of her like that.

**Domos:** If you can't persuade him to stop, I can make him stop.

**Zander:** You can't make me stop anymore than she can persuade me to stop. Your threats mean less to me than her weak pleas. Elaynia, I love you: I swear it upon my life. And I will spend that life fighting any man who dares to say that I don't love you.

**Domos:** I say that I love you more than he does!

**Zander:** Oh you do, do you? Then let's step outside, so you can prove it!

**Domos:** Fine! Let's go then…

**Hermione:** Zander! You mustn't do this!

**Zander:** Get off me, leech!

**Domos:** Oh yes! Pretend she's holding you back. Act like you want to do this – but stay here! Coward!

**Zander:** Let me go, woman! Get your filthy hands off of me, or I shall shake you off like a snake!

**Hermione:** What has happened? Why have you changed, my love?

**Zander:** Your love? Let go, you filthy scavvy wench! Get off, you rotten lashworm! Get away from me!

**Hermione:** Surely you're joking with me?

**Elaynia:** Of course he is – and so are you!

**Zander:** Domos, my challenge still stands!

**Domos:** Sure it does. Yet you don't seem eager to pursue the matter. You're a liar.

**Zander:** What am I supposed to do? Hurt her? Strike her down or kill her dead? I hate her, but I can't hurt her like that.

**Hermione:** You think you can do worse to me than hating me? But why do you hate me? What has changed so suddenly? I'm Hermione, and you're Zander. My looks haven't changed. You loved me before this lights-out began, yet you left me before it was over. When you left me asleep…by the Throne! You're telling the truth?

**Zander:** Yes! I swear it! I never want to see you again! So get over it. There's nothing you can say, nothing you can do to change my mind. I am not joking: I hate you and I love Elaynia.

**Hermione:** Emperor's blood! Liar! Cheat! You have stolen my love! Taken his heart under the cover of darkness!

**Elaynia:** Are you kidding? Have you no shame? Trying to get me to sink to your level? Shame on you! You're just their puppet!

**Hermione:** "Puppet"? Oh, so that's your game, is it? You're making fun of my height? Boasting about how much taller you are? You're claiming you won him with only your height? You've grown high in his love because I'm a dwarf? I'm not so small that I can't claw out your eyes!

_(Zander and Domos hold her back)_

**Elaynia:** Please, this joke has gone too far! Don't let her hurt me! I'm not a fighter; I've never done violence in my life! Don't let her attack me! You must think I'm a match for her because she's smaller than I am.

**Hermione:** "Smaller"? Did you hear that? She said it again!

**Elaynia:** Don't be so angry with me, Hermione! I've always loved you, always kept your secrets. I've never done anything wrong to you, except for telling Domos about your running off with Zander. But I only did that because I love him! He followed you, and I followed him. He has yelled at me, threatened me, he even told me he would kill me! Just let me go, and I'll take my foolish heart back to Airdome and follow you no more. Just let me go! Can't you see what an idiot I've been?

**Hermione:** Then go! What's stopping you?

**Elaynia:** My foolish heart, which I'm leaving here…

**Hermione:** What – with my Zander?

**Elaynia:** With Domos.

**Zander:** Don't be afraid. Hermione won't hurt you, Elaynia.

**Domos:** That's right Elaynia.

**Elaynia:** But when she's angry, she can be very cruel. She was quite the warp-spawn when we were at school. Although she's little, she's very fierce.

**Hermione:** "Little" again? Always with the jokes about my size! Why do you let her insult me like this? Let me at her!

**Zander:** Go away, dwarf-woman! You midget, made of tangle-weed! Shorty! Runt!

**Domos:** You're interfering where you aren't wanted. Elaynia scorns your advances. Leave her alone. Don't talk about her and don't presume to talk for her. You'll regret trying to show her you love her.

**Zander:** Hermione's not holding me back now! So come on. Follow me and we'll see who has the right to pursue Elaynia.

**Domos:** Follow? Oh no. We'll go as equals.

_(Zander and Domos leave, hands on their blades)_

**Hermione:** You, you slut – all this fuss is because of you! Don't even think about running away from me.

**Elaynia:** I don't trust you. I can't. And I won't stay here with you any longer. You may be quicker than me in a fight, by my legs are longer for running away.

_(She runs off)_

**Hermione:** I'm shocked. I'm at a loss for words.

_(Hermione follows Elaynia. Overhang and Rusty emerge from their hiding place in the stalks)_

**Overhang:** This is a disaster. More mistakes, or did you do this on purpose?

**Rusty:** Believe me, my King. I made an error. Didn't you tell me I'd know the man by his Airdome attire? So I'm not guilty. I did put the juice on an Airdome hiver's eyes. It's true, I'm not sorry it has worked out this way. That argument was great fun.

**Overhang:** Those two lovers are looking for a place to duel. Go, Rusty, and swell the darkness, make the grove black as the deepest hive and lead the two rivals astray. Make sure that they cannot find each other. Mimic their voices, provoking them with curses and rants. Keep them apart until exhaustion takes them and they fall asleep. Then drop this upon Zander's eyes. _(He hands Rusty a phial of liquid)_. This potion has the power to remove the spells and make him as he was before. When he next awakes, this will all seem like a dream. Then these foolish lovers can return to Airdome, and live out their lives in friendship. And while you're working on this, I'll go and see my Queen. When I have the little boy from her, I'll free her from the spell that binds her to that monstrous hiver, and everything will be at peace.

**Rusty:** My king, this must be done quickly. The lights-out hours are nearly spent. The dark crawlers are returning to their dens, and the hive spirits that haunt the lightless hours return to their homes.

**Overhang: **But we are not like them. We haunt the underhive in darkness and in light. But you are right. We should finish these matters before the rest of the hivers awake. Waste no more time.

_(Overhang leave)_

**Rusty:** Up and down, up and down,

I will lead them up and down,

I am feared in grove and town,

Goblin, lead them up and down.

Ah, here comes one.

_(Zander enters)_

**Zander:** Where are you, Domos? Hiding from me? Say something so that I may find you!

**Rusty:** _(using Domos' voice)_ Here I am, villain! With my blade drawn and ready! Where are you?

**Zander:** I'm on my way.

**Rusty:** Follow my voice, then. I've found a clearing that will do.

_(Zander follows the voice and leaves. Domos enters)_

**Domos:** Zander? Speak again! You coward! Where have you gone? Speak up! Behind the stalks? Where are you hiding?

**Rusty:** _(speaking like Zander)_ You coward! Are you bragging to the darkness? Telling the mushrooms how you're looking for a fight? So why won't you duel me? Come on, coward! This way, little boy! I'll spank you with a cane –it wouldn't be fair to draw a sword on you!

**Domos:** What did you say? Over there, are you?

**Rusty:** Follow my voice! There's no room to fight here.

_(They leave. Zander re-enters.)_

**Zander:** He stays ahead of me somehow. I go where he calls, and he's vanished. This coward is much swifter than I am. I follow as quickly as I can, but somehow he's faster. How can he see in this gloom? I need to rest. Lights-out should be soon. Then I'll find Domos, and get my revenge.

_(He lies down and falls asleep. Rusty and Domos enter.)_

**Rusty:** _(still speaking like Zander)_ You coward! Why won't you come out and fight me?

**Domos:** Wait for me if you dare! I know you're out there, running around in the dark. You won't dare stand your ground, or look me in the eyes. Where did you go now?

**Rusty:** This way! I'm over here!

**Domos:** Fine. You're making fun of me. You'll pay for this, if I ever see your face again. Go on, run away. I'm too tired for this game. Rest assured that I'll find you when the lights-on hour drives away this darkness.

_(He lies down and sleeps. Elaynia enters)_

**Elaynia:** I'm exhausted. This darkness seems to last forever. Come on, lights-on! I need your light to find my way back to Airdome and away from these false friends. I'll sleep, and forget my troubles for awhile.

_(She lies down and sleeps)_

**Rusty:** What, only three? I need one more

Two boys and two girls to make up four

Ah here she is, angry and sad

Qufus is a fickle lad

Such tricks to make the ladies mad!

_(Hermione enters)_

**Hermione:** I don't think I've ever been so angry, tired, and sad. Damp with sweat, torn by thorns, I simply can't go another step. My legs feel like they're ready to fall off. I'll rest here until lights-on. Emperor watch over Zander, if they should fight their duel.

_(She lies down and sleeps)_

**Rusty:** On the floor

Past sleep's door

I'll apply

Upon your eye

Gentle lover, remedy.

_(He drips a few drops from the phial onto Zander's eyes)_

When awake

You will take

True delight

In the sight

Of the proper lady's eye.

Jack will have Jill

Naught shall go ill

And all shall be well again.

_(He leaves, leaving the four lovers asleep)_


	5. Chapter 5

**PART FOUR – The first bit**

_The Fungus Grove outside of Airdome's North Gate. Enter Titanweb and Brato, with Titanweb's attendant ratskins. Overhang follows them, unseen._

**Titanweb:** Come, sit upon this lovely bed. I will caress your cheeks, adorn your head with blooms, and kiss your beautiful, giant ears.

**Brato:** Where's Pipedreamer?

**Pipedreamer:** Here.

**Brato:** Scratch my head, Pipedreamer. Where's Webrunner?

**Webrunner:** Ready.

**Brato:** Ahh, Webrunner. Take your weapons, and hunt down a red-hipped hive drone for me. Then bring me its sweet goo-sack. Don't go to too much trouble, but make sure you don't break the goo-sack. I would hate for you to be swamped by a goo-sack. Where's Sporemoss?

**Sporemoss:** Ready.

**Brato:** Let's shake hands, Sporemoss. (Sporemoss bows) Now really, there's no need to curtsy, good Sporemoss.

**Sporemoss:** What can I do for you?

**Brato:** Nothing at all, except help Pipedreamer scratch. _(He feels his chin)_ I think I must go to a barber. I do believe that my face is a bit hairier than usual.

**Titanweb:** Would you like to hear some music, my sweet?

**Brato: ** I'm a great fan of fine music. Let's hear something that uses triangles and spoons!

**Titanweb:** Or...err…maybe you would prefer something to eat?

**Brato:** I could really go for some cheese. Something nice and smelly. I really have a yearning for something to gnaw on…maybe a nice, sweet stalk of stiff mushroom.

**Titanweb:** I have a scout who can search out some fresh hiveberries.

**Brato:** I'd prefer a cheekful or two of dried peas. But what I would really like is to be undisturbed. I'm feeling very tired.

**Titanweb:** Then sleep, and I will hold you in my arms. Ratskins, to your duties.

_(The ratskins leave)_

This is how the tangle-vine wraps the girders of the hive. Oh how I love you. I will do anything for you.

_(They sleep. Rusty enters, and goes to Overhang)_

**Overhang:** Welcome, Rusty. Do you see this vision of loveliness? I believe I actually feel sorry for her. I met her not long ago in this grove, as she was looking for blooms to make into garlands for this repulsive idiot. We argued because she had put a crown of fresh blossoms on his hairy head, and the blossoms were weeping in sadness for their new home. So I made fun of her love, and when she asked me to stop, I asked for the little hiver boy. She gave him up right away, and he is currently on his way back to my camp. Now that I've got what I want, I'll remove this spell that so warps her vision. And, Rusty, you must remove the rat's head from this Airdome simpleton. When he wakes up beside his fellows, they can all return to Airdome, thinking that all the strangeness of this time was only a fantastic dream. But first, I'll release my queen.

_(He touches Titanweb's eyelids with the potion from the phial)_

Be you as you always were

See not through the love-blooms blur

Reality will win a heart

Better than young Qufus' dart.

Now, Titanweb, awake my queen!

**Titanweb:** My Overhang! What strange things I have seen! I thought I was in love with a dirty rat!

**Overhang:** There is the love from your dreams…

**Titanweb:** How did this happen? Spirits, he is repulsive!

**Overhang:** I'll explain in just a moment. Rusty, remove this rat's head. Titanweb, summon musicians. We must put these five into a deathlike sleep, deeper than dreams.

**Titanweb:** Come quickly now, play the music that bewitches sleep.

_(Soft music begins to play)_

**Rusty: **_(Removing Brato's rat head)_ Now, when you awake, see with your own foolish eyes.

**Overhang:** Let the music play. Come my queen, take my hand and we shall dance upon the ground where the sleepers lie.

_(Overhang and Titanweb dance)_

Now that we have made amends, we will dance in full dress at the manor of Duke Thevus, and bless it with prosperity. These pairs of lovers shall be married there with Thevus, and there will be much festivity.

**Rusty:** Ratskin King, take note and hark

I can hear the lights-on spark.

**Overhang:** Now, my queen, let's slip away

In silence: Light will soon hold sway.

Round the hive we'll swiftly fly

Faster than the eye may spy

**Titanweb:** Come my lord, and tell me true

How this night's events ensued

And how it was that I was found

Sleeping near hivers upon the ground.

_(The ratskins depart. Brato and the four lovers are left sleeping. Loud voices are heard. Thevus, Hollin, Ignaus and the Duke's guards and aides enter)_

**Thevus:** One of you, go and find the gamekeeper. We've celebrated a fine morning, and since it's early yet, my love shall hear the barking of my hounds. Set the dogs loose! Hurry, I tell you. Find the gamekeeper.

_(The aide leaves)_

My love, wait until you hear the sounds of their baying as it echoes around the domes.

**Hollin:** I was with some of my sisters once, in another fungus grove, when they were hunting giant spore-rats with Spacer hounds. I have never heard such a ruckus. Not only the grove, but the entire dome seemed to reverberate with their howls. I've never heard an animal make such a thunderous, magnificent noise.

**Thevus:** My hounds are also Spacer-breed. Hanging jowls, light brown coats. Long ears that trail the ground, low-slung and powerful builds. They're slow runners, but their howls harmonize beautifully. Judge for yourself when you hear them. What is this? Who are these young ladies?

**Ignaus:** My Duke! This is my daughter sleeping here; and here is Zander, and Domos, and there is Elaynia – Elder Raden's daughter. I am shocked that they are here like this.

**Thevus:** No doubt they rose early to celebrate this day, and hearing about our plans, came here to join in the festivities. But tell me, Ignaus. Isn't this the day that Hermione must make her choice?

**Ignaus:** It is, my lord.

**Thevus:** Then we shall wake them. Watchmen, sound your horns.

_(Two of the watchmen sound their airhorns. The lovers are shocked out of their sleep.)_

Good morning, my friends. It's long past Qufus' Pairing Days. Are you late to join the festivities?

**Zander:** Your pardon, Duke Thevus.

_(The lovers kneel)_

**Thevus:** Please, stand. I know that you two are rivals. What has brought peace between you? Surely something has happened, for those who hate each other do not sleep side-by-side, unafraid of attacks from their rival.

**Zander:** My lord, I'm not sure I can explain it. I'm still half-asleep. I'm not really sure how I got here. I think _(he pauses, unsure)_ – I want to get this right. Now I remember! I came here with Hermione. Our intention was to flee from Airdome, so that we may be together beyond the long arm of the law…

**Ignaus:** That's enough! I've heard enough! My Duke, I beg the law –the law! –upon his head! They were trying to run away! They would've gone, Domos! They would've cheated both of us: you of your wife, and me of my consent for her to be your wife!

**Domos:** My lord, Elaynia told me of their flight from Airdome. I followed them here in anger, and Elaynia followed me out of love. But my lord, I don't know how –surely some power was involved –but my love for Hermione has evaporated. It seems like some sort of childhood memory. Every part of my being, my soul, my heart, is entirely for Elaynia. I was engaged to her, my lord, before I met Hermione. I'm not sure how I strayed from the right path, but now I'm back where I should be. I desire Elaynia, wish to be with her, to love her and will be faithful to her forever more.

**Thevus:** Well, it appears that our meeting here is indeed fortunate. We'll hear more of this wondrous story later. Ignaus, I will overrule your wishes. In the Emperor's Temple, these couples shall be married. They shall be married with us, in a grand ceremony. And because time has flown by us, we shall cancel today's hunt. Let us all return to Airdome. We'll have a feast to celebrate our three couples. Come, Hollin.

_(Everyone leaves but the lovers and the sleeping Brato)_

**Domos:** Everything seems hazy, like I'm looking through a steamy fog.

**Hermione:** I think my eyes are out of focus. It's like I'm seeing double.

**Elaynia:** Me too. Domos is like a jewel I've found, he's mine, but what if someone should come to claim him?

**Domos:** Are you sure we're awake? It sure feels like we're still dreaming. Was the Duke really here? Didn't he say to follow him?

**Hermione:** He was, and my father was here as well.

**Elaynia:** And Hollin.

**Zander:** Yes, and he told us to follow him to the temple.

**Domos:** Well, I guess we're awake! Let's hurry after the Duke, and we can share our strange dreams on the way.

_(The lovers leave)_

**Brato:** When my cue comes, call me and I'll perform. My next one is "Most fair Pyrius." _(yawns)_ What is this? Pol Quin? Flexo the mechanic? Squin the handyman? Sato? Emperor's Throne! They've snuck off and left me sleeping here! I had the most wondrous dream. I don't think I could put it in words. I thought I was…I don't know what. I thought I was, and I thought I had….Gah! I don't have the words to describe what I thought I had. No one has ever seen, tasted, heard or even dreamt what I just dreamed. I'll have to get Pol Quin to turn it into a ballad. We'll call it "Brato's Dream", and I'll sing it at the end of our play for the Duke. Oh! Maybe I'll sing it when Therese dies!

_(He leaves)_

**PART FOUR -The Second Bit**

_A plaza in Airdome. Enter Quin, Flexo, Squin and Sato._

**Quin:** Have you gone by Brato's pad? Has he come home yet?

**Sato:** Nobody's seen him. It's like he's vanished.

**Flexo:** If he doesn't show, then our play is ruined. We'll have to cancel, won't we?

**Quin:** Most definitely. There isn't another man in Airdome capable of playing Pyrius like he can.

**Flexo:** Too true. He's got more talent than any other worker in Airdome.

**Quin:** Yes, and the best physique too. And he's got a great voice too, a real paramour.

**Flexo:** I think you mean "paragon". A paramour is, Emperor watch over us, a naughty type of guy.

_(Skib enters)_

**Skib:** The Duke has just left the temple, and two or three more lords and ladies have been married as well. If we'd been able to put on our play, we'd have been famous.

**Flexo:** Poor Brato! He's lost a sixty credit-a-day pension for the rest of his life! There's no way he would've gotten less. If the Duke wouldn't give him sixty credits-a-day for playing Pyrius, I'd kill myself. He would've deserved it. There was an easy sixty credits-a-day in the part of Pyrius, no doubt.

_(Brato enters)_

**Brato:** Here you are! My friends, where have you been?

**Quin:** Brato! Thank the Emperor! You're finally here!

**Brato:** Lads, I've got an amazing story to tell you all. But don't ask me what it is, because if I tell you, then I'm no true Airdome citizen. I'll tell you everything just like it happened.

**Quin:** Out with it, then, Brato!

**Brato:** Nope, can't. All I'll say is that the Duke has had dinner. Let's get our costumes on. Make sure the beards have new strings and there are new laces on your boots. Then meet at the manor as soon as possible. Everyone must know his part, because, get this, our play has been chosen! No matter what, Therese's costume must be clean. Don't let the Lion player cut their nails, because they'll need to use them as claws. And, whatever you do, don't eat anything spicy! We've got to have sweet breath, so that they'll say we've put on a sweet comedy! Now hurry! Hurry!

_(They go)_


	6. Chapter 6

**PART FIVE – The First Bit**

_The Duke's Manor inside Airdome. Enter Thevus, Hollin, Phindeaux and their entourage._

**Hollin:** This story of the lovers is very strange, Thevus.

**Thevus:** Too strange to be true. I never believe these elaborate stories or tales about magical ratskins. Both lovers and madmen have fertile imaginations, and they dream up tales that those with level heads can never understand. The madman, the lover, and the poet are all imaginative. One sees more demons than hell can ever hold: that's the madman. The lover, just as crazy, sees the beauty of a spire lady in a scavvy harlot's face. And the poet runs amok, creating new things in their imagination and giving them life with their pen. Vivid imaginations play mind tricks. If there's something too delightful, there must be a supernatural cause. And if there's something to fear in the dark, then how easy is it to imagine a chair is really a goblin?

**Hollin:** Yet their stories are consistent, and they all seem to have been influenced at the same time. This suggests there's more to the story than just make-believe. It's all very convincing, even if it's strange and a little astonishing.

_(The lovers enter: Zander, Domos, Hermione, and Elaynia)_

**Thevus:** Here come the lovers, full of happiness and flushed with love. Happiness, dear friends, happiness and love be yours forever more!

**Zander:** May you find more of both on your walks, at your table, and in your bed!

**Thevus:** So what do we have to occupy the three long hours between our feast and our marriage beds? Where is the entertainment manager? Is there a dance, or a play to reduce the agony of our waiting? Phindeaux, where are you?

**Phindeaux:** Here, Duke Thevus.

**Thevus:** What amusements do you have for this evening? A masque? Music? How can we make the time pass without some entertainment?

**Phindeaux:** Here is a list of the shows that are ready. Just choose which you would like to see first, my Duke.

**Thevus:** "The Battle with the Centaurs, to be sung by an Airdome eunuch with accompaniment by the harp". I don't think so. "The Religious Frenzy of the Drunken Women Tearing Apart Orgious (the singer) in Their Fury." Not again. They performed this when I came back from freeing Three Domes from an Orlock blockade. "The Nine Scholars Mourning the Death of Learning, Which Died of Neglect." Not exactly appropriate for a wedding ceremony. What's this? "A Long Short Play About Young Pyrius and His Lover Therese: A Very Tragic Comedy." A tragic comedy that is both long and short? That's like hot ice or cold forging. How can we follow this nonsense?

**Phindeaux:** It's a play, my Duke, consisting of only ten words, which is probably the shortest play I've ever heard of. But, it's too long by ten words, which makes it lengthy, because there's not one proper word or decent actor. This one _(he points to the program)_ is certainly the tragedy, because Pyrius kills himself. When I watched a rehearsal, I must admit that they brought tears to my eyes –but I've never laughed harder while I cried.

**Thevus:** Who's putting it on?

**Phindeaux:** Laborers, who work here in Airdome. They've never done anything intellectual before, but have managed to force their rusty brains to memorize this play to celebrate your wedding.

**Thevus:** Well, we'll watch them, then.

**Phindeaux:** No, please, my lord. I've listened to them perform, and it's useless. Utterly horrible. Unless you can find amusement in their efforts to be actors. They have worked hard and suffered much to learn their parts.

**Thevus:** I'll hear this play. Their hard work should be rewarded, especially since they desire to celebrate our joyous day. Go, bring them in. Ladies, would you take your seats?

_(Phindeaux bows and leaves)_

**Hollin:** I don't know about this. I take no pleasure watching people make fools of themselves, or watching people do things that give them pain.

**Thevus:** Why, my sweet Hollin, you won't see any such thing here.

**Hollin:** He said that they have no talent.

**Thevus:** All the more reason that we should watch. We will take them seriously, even if they are horrible. They mean well, and we should value their intention over their performance. I've been in situations where learned men have tried to deliver formal speeches of welcome, only to freeze up, forgetting all they intended to say, and then not welcoming me at all. Despite their silence, I understood that they meant to welcome me and I valued the simple respect of their nervous performance. Much more then the empty words of faithless smooth-talkers. Lovers and simple men say the most when they are tongue-tied and speak the least, unless I'm much mistaken.

_(Phindeaux enters)_

**Phindeaux:** My Duke, an actor is ready to deliver the Prologue of the play.

_Thevus:_ Then let him begin.

_(A trumpet sounds. Pol Quin enters as the Prologue. He reads from a scroll, but completely ignores the punctuation.)_

**Quin:** If we should offend, it's our intent,

That you should know, we come not to offend,

But to display our skill. That's what we intend,

That is the real reason for our play.

Consider then, we're here because of spite.

We have not come intending to please you,

Our real aim is. For your delight,

We are not here. That you should have no delight,

The actors are ready; by what they show

You'll know the plot –or all you need to know.

**Thevus:** _(whispering)_ This fellow doesn't worry about his punctuation.

**Zander:** He's rushed the entire prologue. He hasn't learned to pause or stop at all. There's a lesson in this, my Duke. It's not enough to just speak, you have to speak correctly.

**Hollin:** Indeed. He's like a child learning an instrument. He makes sound, but it's all just noise and very confused.

**Thevus:** His speech was like a tangled chain. Nothing wrong with the links, but everything is all muddled up. Who's next?

_(A trumpet sounds. Brato enters as Pyrius, Flexo as Therese, Squin as a Wall, Sato as Moonshine, and Skib as a lion. Quin continues as the Prologue, and steps forward as he introduces them)_

**Quin:** Noble folk, you may wonder at our play

But wonder on, until truth makes all things clear.

This man is Pyrius. I hope that's clear.

This lovely lady is named Therese.

This man covered in plascrete represents Wall,

The nasty wall which keeps the lovers apart,

And through a hole in it they can only whisper,

So do not be confused when they do it.

This man, with lantern held aloft, plays Moonshine.

I will tell this secret to you.

By Moonshine these lovers had a plan

To meet at Ninus' tomb, and pledge their love.

This fearsome beast, which is called a Lion,

Scared Therese away from the tomb

Who had arrived first.

As she fled, she dropped her cloak,

Which the lion, who had a bloody mouth, shredded and stained.

Then Pyrius arrived, young, tall and handsome,

And finds the bloody remains of Therese's cloak.

And so he draws his blade, his terrible sword,

And pierces his boiling, bloody breast.

Therese, who is hiding nearby

Takes his sword and joins him in death.

Now we'll let Lion, Moonshine, Wall and the lovers

Explain everything through our play.

_(All the players leave except for Squin the Wall)_

**Thevus:** I wonder if the lion has a speaking part.

**Domos:** I wouldn't be surprised, my Duke. Why can't a lion speak, when this huge group of asses can?

**Squin:** In this play it does befall

That I, named Squin, will play a wall.

I am a wall, I will have you think,

That has in it a tiny chink

Through which the lovers, Pyrius and Therese

Did whisper, which was their only release.

This brick, this mortar, they are the proof

That I am the wall, and that's the truth.

And this is the chink, formed by my fingers

Through which the frightened lovers are forced to whisper.

_(He demonstrates the chink to the audience)_

**Thevus:** Could plasteel or rockcrete have spoken better?

**Domos:** That is the most intelligent dividing wall I've ever heard speak, my Duke!

_(Brato enters as Pyrius)_

**Thevus:** Pyrius approaches the wall. Silence!

**Brato: **_(completely over-acting)_

Oh, grim night! On, night with dark so black!

Oh, night, which always is when day has trottin!

Oh, night, oh, night, alack, alack, alack,

I fear my Therese's promise is forgotten!

And you: oh wall, oh sweet, oh lovely wall

That stands between her father's land and mine

You wall, oh wall, oh sweet and lovely wall

Show me your chink, to look through with my eye.

_(Squin makes the chink with his fingers)_

Thanks, courteous wall. Emperor guard you well for this!

But how can this be? No Therese do I see.

Oh wicked wall, through whom I see no bliss

Cursed be your stones for so deceiving me!

**Thevus:** I think the wall, having intelligence and the power of speech, should swear back.

**Brato**: _(breaking character)_ Oh no, my Duke, he shouldn't. "Deceiving me" is Therese's cue. She's supposed to enter now, and then I'll spot her through the wall. Here she comes, you'll see.

_(Flexo enters dressed as Therese)_

**Flexo:** Oh wall, how often you have heard my moans

For separating my Pyrius and me

My reddened lips have often kissed your stones

Oh wall, with mortar, brick and stone inside thee.

**Brato**: _(back as Pyrius)_

I see a voice! To the chink!

I'll see if I can hear Therese's face.

Therese!

**Flexo:** My love! You are my love, I think?

**Brato:** Think what you want, I embrace your true love!

And like Limander, I am faithful still.

**Flexo:** And I like Helena, until I am killed.

**Brato:** Shafalus to Procrus was not so true.

**Flexo:** As Shafalus to Procrus, I am to you.

**Brato:** Oh kiss me through the chink in this terrible wall!

_(He puts his lips to Wall's fingers)_

**Flexo:** I kiss the wall's hole, not your lips at all.

**Brato:** Will you come and meet me at Ninny's tomb?

**Flexo:** Come what may, I'll go there now without delay.

_(Pyrius and Therese leave)_

**Squin:** And so, as wall, I have done my part.

And having done so, Wall may now depart.

_(He exits)_

**Thevus:** I guess the moon will now have to come between the two lovers.

**Domos:** There's no alternative, my Duke. Especially when the wall leaves.

**Hollin:** This is the silliest thing I've ever heard!

**Thevus:** Even the best actors are only pretending. The worst can't do any worse, especially if aided by imagination.

**Hollin:** Then it must be your imagination that aides them.

**Thevus:** If we think no less of them then they think of themselves, then they'll appear to be excellent men. Ah, here come two noble beasts, a man and a lion.

_(Skib enters as Lion, Sato as Moonshine)_

**Skib:** Noble ladies, whose gentle hearts may fear

The smallest monstrous mouse upon the floor,

May now, maybe, quake and tremble here

When Lion in his wildest rage will roar.

So now I, Skib the plumber, must confess

I play a fierce Lion, not a lioness.

If I should enter with a lion's roar

Then I would die upon this floor.

**Thevus**: A very gentle beast, most conscientious.

**Domos:** The beastliest actor I've ever seen, good Duke.

**Zander:** This lion is sly as a tube weasel.

**Thevus:** True, and cautious as a dustbat.

**Domos:** He's too cautious to act sly. But a tube weasel can catch a dustbat.

**Thevus:** His caution cannot overwhelm his slyness, I'm sure of that. No dustbat ever gets by a tube weasel. Let's let him figure out which he is, while we listen to the Moon.

**Sato:** This lantern represents a crescent moon, and I'm the Man in the Moon. I guess.

**Thevus:** This is all wrong. He should be inside the lantern. Otherwise he can't be the man in the moon.

**Domos:** He can't go in the lantern. There's a fire in there.

**Hollin:** I'm fed up with this moon. I think he should change.

**Thevus:** He's a dim moon, must be on the wane. But in all fairness, we should give him a chance.

**Zander:** Proceed, Moon.

**Sato:** All I've got to say is to tell you that this lantern is the Moon, and I'm the Man in the Moon.

**Domos:** Well, that's that then. Oh! Quiet now, here comes Therese.

_(Flexo returns as Therese)_

**Flexo:** This is old Ninny's tomb, but where is my love Pyrius?

**Skib:** Roar-r-r-r!!!

_(Therese runs away, dropping her cloak on the ground)_

**Domos:** Well roared, lion!

**Thevus:** Well run, Therese!

**Hollin:** Well…shone...moon! You shine very gracefully.

_(Skib mauls Therese's cloak, and exits)_

**Thevus:** Well mussed, Lion!

_(Brato reenters as Pyrius)_

**Domos:** Here comes Pyrius.

**Zander:** And there goes Lion.

**Brato:** _(completely overacting)_

Glorious moon, I thank you for your sunny beams

I thank you moon, for shining oh so bright

For by your gracious, golden, glittering gleams

I hope catch the faithful Therese in my sight.

But wait! Oh, spite!

But look, poor knight!

What dreadful thing is here!

Eyes, do you see?

How can this be?

My dainty sprite! My dear!

Your cloak and hood-

What? Stained with blood?

Come here, you angels fell

Oh fate! Come, come:

Cut thread and thrum

Quail, crush, conclude and quell!

**Thevus:** Such passion! The death of a dear friend would definitely make a man miserable.

**Hollin:** By the throne, but I pity him.

**Brato:** Why, Nature, did you Lions unfurl

Since a Lion has destroyed my lady dear?

Who is –no, was- the fairest girl

That lived and loved, who laughed with cheer.

Come tears, confound!

Out sword, and wound

The breast of Pyrius.

Aye, this left teat

Where the heart does beat

Thus I die, thus –thus-thus. _(He pretends to stab himself)_

Now I am dead;

Now spirit has fled

My soul is in the sky.

Tongue, lose thy sight

Moon, take your flight! _(Moonshine exits)_

Now die, die, die, die, die.

_(He dies dramatically)_

**Domos:** He rolled the lowest score on the die: one!

**Zander:** Less than one. Since he's dead, he's nothing.

**Thevus:** With the help of a medicae, he may still recover.

**Hollin:** Why did Moonshine leave before Therese comes back? How will she find her lover in the dark?

_(Therese returns)_

**Thevus:** I suppose she'll find him by starlight. Here she is, and she ends the play.

**Hollin:** I don't think this Pyrius deserves much sorrow. I hope she'll be quick.

**Domos:** It's a fine point as to who is the better, Pyrius as a man, Throne preserve us, or Therese as a woman, Throne protect us!

**Zander:** She's spotted him already. She must have night vision.

**Domos:** And she moans, listen:

**Flexo:** Asleep my love?

What, dead, my dove?

Oh, Pyrius, arise!

Speak, speak. Quite dumb?

Dead, dead? A tomb

Must cover your sweet eyes.

These perfect lips

This regal nose

These manly, hairy cheeks,

Are gone, are gone!

Loves must moan;

His breath has never reeked.

Loves valkyrie

Come, come to me

With hands as pale as milk

Lay sword in blood

And then you could

Cut silver cord like silk.

Tongue, not a word.

Come, trusty sword

Come, blade, my breast stab through _(she pretends to stab herself)_

And farewell, friends

So Therese ends.

I bid farewell to you.

_(She dies)_

**Thevus:** Only Moonshine and Lion are left to bury the dead.

**Domos:** And don't forget Wall, as well.

**Brato:** No, my lords. I can assure you that the wall that separated their two houses has been taken down. Would you like to see an epilogue, or maybe hear a rustic dance between two of our company?

**Thevus:** No thank you! No epilogue is needed. Do not apologize for your play. Since the actors are all dead, no one can be blamed. Now, if the author had played the part of Pyrius and hung himself with Therese's garter, then it would have been a fine tragedy. And so it was, and very well performed. The rustic dance, if you will. Forget the epilogue.

_(The performers dance an Airdome folk dance)_

The bell has tolled midnight. Lovers, to bed. It's almost time for the hive spirits to be about. I'm afraid I'll sleep in tomorrow for I've stayed awake far too late. This awful play has made time fly. To bed, my friends. Our celebrations will last for two weeks, with revelry each night and new entertainments.

_(They all leave)_

_(Rusty enters with a broom)_

**Rusty:** Now the hungry lion roars

And the ally rats will croon

While the exhausted workers snores

Weary from the tasks they've done.

Now the candles are burning low

While ripper-jacks, screeching loud

Makes the wretch who lives in woe

Think about a funeral shroud.

Now it is the realm of dark

When all the graves are gaping wide.

Each emits a ghostly spark

Which through dome tunnels glide.

And we ratskins, who all run

As servants of the Spirit Dream

Who prance and scamper with great fun

Through the hive from seam to seam,

Now are happy. Not a mouse

Shall disturb this happy house.

I've been sent, with broom in hand

To sweep the dust and move the sand.

_(Overhang and Titanweb, king and queen of the ratskins, enter with their entire band. Each ratskin is wearing a headband with a flickering light set upon it.)_

**Overhang**: Through this house bring glimmering light

To ease the weary dark.

Every ratskin here tonight

Must be ready on my mark

To sing a Song with me

And dance a Dance most perfectly.

**Titanweb:** First repeat the song by rote

And give each word a warbling note.

Hand in hand, with style and grace

We'll entice the Spirits to bless this place.

_(Overhang takes the lead in the Spirit Dance)_

**Overhang:** From now until the morning light

Through this house we shall alight.

We'll stand by Thevus' marriage bed

Where there'll be a blessing said.

All the children they bring forth

Shall be hivers of great worth.

And for all the couples three

Ever true in loving be;

Perfect children they shall bring

With blemishes upon no thing

No moles, harelips, nor any scar

No birthmark or flaws which often are

What parents fear, and deeply mourn

Shall affect the children they have born.

With this pure and blessed potion

Every ratskin sets in motion,

Each and every chamber bless

To give the manor peacefulness.

With the owner surely blessed,

Forever here he'll safely rest.

Quickly now, without delay;

Meet me all 'for break of day.

_(They all leave except Rusty)_

**Rusty:** If we actors have offended;

Think of this and all is mended:

You have only slumbered here

While these visions did appear.

And this weak and pointless theme

Was nothing better than a dream.

Gentle folk do not reprove;

Pardon us, and we'll improve.

And sure as I'm an honest rat

Who desires not a spat,

Should we avoid your scornful hiss

We'll soon amend what's gone amiss.

Else, on me your ire fall.

So good night unto you all!

Clap your hands if we be friends,

And Rusty soon will make amends.

_(He leaves)_

**END**


End file.
